Haha!

Check out this Astros pitcher forget to throw the ball:

You can almost hear him muttering obscenities to himself.

 

NYY Rookie P Shane Greene is Soooo Emo!

Shane Greene, totally Emo

I don’t care what anybody says, The Wedding Singer is a great movie.  Vintage Sandler at the height of his relevancy.

Exhibit A:

 

 

And let’s not forget, Buscemi absolutely kills it here.

Exhibit B:

The Final 81 Games of My Life as a Yankees Fan: Game #1

They say you always remember your first love…For me that was the New York Yankees.

The Bronx Bombers weren’t a team, they were a religion.    For my friends and I, memorizing all the significant names and numbers of Yankees history was way more important than anything we could ever learn in school.  If you called yourself a fan but didn’t know the significance of the numbers 714 or 2,130 or .353/52/130 then you were labeled a “poser” and not considered a “real fan.”

But with Derek Jeter‘s retirement at the end of the 2014 season will also come my “retirement” as a Yankees fan, for reasons I’ll explore later in future posts.

 

Game 1:  Rays 2 (37-49) Yankees 1 (41-41)

It’s not just that the Yankees lose, it’s that they lose in the most boring way possible.  I know this might be an indictment about the state of Major League Baseball as a whole but three hours and 13 minutes to play a 2-1 game?  Really?  I’ve got a 200-dollar-per-month cable bill and more channels than I can count, so why would I want to spend 1/8th of a day watching a baseball game in which only three runs get scored? Sometimes it feels like a chore watching this team play.  And, for the record,  I have no idea why a hitter has to adjust his batting gloves after every pitch, even after the ones he didn’t swing at.

They Yankees wasted a superb effort by SP Hiroki Kuroda by going only 1-9 with RISP and left 8 men on base.  The #4 (Mark Teixeira) and #5 (Carlos Beltran) spots in the lineup, which make $37.5 million between them (or only $7,044,174 less than the entire Astros team makes) went 0-4 between them.

After watching this shit-show I wished I had gotten caught up on all the Ancient Aliens episodes I’ve got DVR’ed instead.

Somebody Dial 9-1-1 (Jacoby Ellsbury Goes Up To Get Down)…

because this was downright larcenous behavior perpetrated against SEA 2B Robinson Cano!

Ellsbury robs Cano

Everyone in the ballpark not named Jacoby Ellsbury was sure this was going to be a home run

Here is another look at this extreme act of thievery.

 

Is it the shoes!?